Thresholds
by CrossbowPower
Summary: This is a very hypotethical way Daryl might run into Carol after they left the prison, and all his thoughts about what happened. 2-3 chapters story. Hope you like it :)
1. Chapter 1

Well I just couldn't sleep so I found myself writing this.

It will be a 2-3 chapters fic, focusing on Daryl and his determination to look for Carol after they left the prison. I'm having Beth as another character because she's grouped with Daryl right now, but it's not that I'll have her messing with Caryl or anything, that isn't the point of this.

I hope you like it and if you want, you can let me know what you think!

S.-

* * *

Canned soup. It'd have to do, he thought as he put the cans over the little fire he'd made to heat them up a little.

They hadn't had much time, since everything happened, to run that far away, since it'd started to get dark an hour after they left the prison. And it was only after he'd gotten them inside the little cabin, checked the windows several times, barricated the door with whatever he could find, looked for supplies and set the fire, when the events started to hit him hard.

He wondered how many times the world was going to go to hell, over, and over. In how many levels. He wondered what was the turning point in which you just simply didn't care anymore, you just simply gave yourself up to whichever tragic ending your story may have. Why was he doing this? For what? for whom? why did he keep on going, or did surviving instict was really the explanation to all of this. No. It wasn't. He was having Beth surviving because he owed it to Hershel. He'd survive because he hadn't found Carol dead or turned yet and there was still the possibility, the slightest of chances she may be alive.

His thoughts suddenly echoed in the air and for a second he wondered where the hell was it coming from.

"Why are we doing this Daryl?" her soft voice asked, and he lifted his eyes to look at her, curled on a side, her arms crossed around her tiny frame, no sign of tears in her eyes, just emptiness. He knew the feeling. He knew how your body would stop producing tears just because they'd have no result in aleviating your pain, and your system'd just consider it a waste of energy. Energy you'd most likely need later. Yes, the human body was smart like that.

"There is no point", she muttered, brushing her hands against her upper arms.

"'we're doin' it fer him. S wha' yer dad would want", he mumbled, taking his sleeveless wing jacket off and throwing it to her.

She suddenly flinched, sliding her arm over the floor to grab the jacket and putting it around her shoulders. She looked up to him, and her eyes were watery. Sometimes your mind was stronger than your body, that was also true.

"Yer ol' man, he was jus' tha best of people I ever knew", he told her. And it wasn't about comforting her, it was just something he found he needed to say aloud as a way to relieve the pain Hershel's death had also produced on him.

She stayed silent, so he kept going.

"He took us in. Havin' two daughters, a family 'f 'is own. I'd have never done tha'. Neither 'f us would."

Suddenly Rick telling him he'd banished Carol for what she'd done came to his mind. Rick, Rick who was probably dead. That idea lessened his rage, but it was still there, somehow, mixed with the rage thinking of him and Carl dead, or worse, dead walking somewhere, provoked on him too.

"He stayed in tha damn righ' path, every moment, even in tha end of the world. If I.. huh.." he said, feeling his own voice fucking trembling. "If I could've chosen fer a father, I'd sure as hell've chosen him."

Even Merle would have gotten to like and respect Hershel, had he had more time to get to know him. He had the feeling he'd liked him already. It was ironic how both of them had had parts of their body cut off in order to live, in order to get more time, Hershel with her daughters… Merle, Merle had been probably thinking about him when he ripped it off.

"He's not here anymore, Daryl", Beth said, smiling a sad smile. "He doesn't know, he won't know… at least…" She wiped the tears off her eyes;

"at least he won't have to see his daughters die".

"Ya saw"… he started, but then he wondered if this was really something good to tell her in their current situation.

"Ya saw wha' was tha last thing he was doin', 'fore he died?" he asked her finally, assuming it just couldn't get any worse than it already was.

Beth tried to think, to remember, but her dad had been too far away for her to see him, reach him, run to him, hug him. To catch anything of him before he was finally gone. She shook her head.

"He was fuckin' smilin'", Daryl told her, with a half smile full of pain too. "Ya know why?"

She smiled lightly. "That's just like him, must have been his way of telling us it was going to be ok somehow, not to give up", Beth said, looking up the ceiling.

"yea, means too, he had no regrets".

He'd always thought his pain threshold was way higher than the others', but right now he was starting to doubt it. And he knew, if Glenn was alive, Maggie, Rick, Carl.. Michonne, Tyresse… Carol… Carol… they would probably be mirroring him right now, hidden in some place, hurt, devastated, isolated. Thinking there was no point anymore, wondering about the others. It was strange, knowing that, feeling bonded with them because of that, and it hurt. Damn right it did.  
He had thought Merle was dead. He had conviced himself he had to be dead just not to feel like this. Just not to feel you might spend the rest of your probably short life holding over a remote possibility. It was cruel, it was plain torture… but then again, Merle _had _been alive indeed. And he'd wasted time, time together, by convincing himself he was dead just so thinking he might be around somewhere but they may still never run into each other didn't hurt that much.

He couldn't let the same happen to _him. _ If she was alive, she couldn't have gone that far. Unlike Rick thought, she wasn't too far gone for what she did, and if she was, then so was him and the rest, and it didn't matter anymore. This was Carol, she wasn't any different, what she'd done didn't turn her into anyone different. She did it to protect the group.. Wrong decision, wrong decision indeed… but who the fuck made the right ones these days? Hershel. And he was gone. She was still the first damn person in the world to have looked through him, see the real him. She was still the first damn person in the world he hadn't been afraid of being himself with. If he found her dead, then he would have to agree with Beth, with the thoughts he'd been having earlier himself. Then there would really be no point anymore.

"Here", he said, handing Beth one of the soup cans. "I know ya don' wanna, but ya gotta."

The girl just took it and nodded slightly, taking a sip from the can and choking a little afterwards. She'd probably just decided to give herself up to Daryl's survival skills. She'll probably realize, soon, there was the chance Maggie, Glenn, were still out there. She'd probably hold to that chance.

He couldn't help but feeling guilty. Guilty because of thinking, at some point during that battle, he was glad Carol hadn't been there. She had became a pretty good shot, but the truth was, back there, being skilled didn't count that much. Being lucky was what fucking counted, like in a damn die or live lottery, russian roulette. He had destroyed a tank himself, he had used a Walker as a skull while three men shot straight at him, but that hadn't been only about being skilled. It'd mostly been about not giving a fuck anymore, not caring one bit if he just fucking died right there. It'd been about being reckless and letting the rage for what Rick'd told him earlier, for seeing Herhsel die like that, go in the form of adrenalin. And if he died, then so be it, it didn't matter, Carol wasn't around anymore. When he stuck an arrow in that son of a bitch's chest, though, he'd remembered Hershel's smile. And he knew he'd regret it, he'd regret it if he died without knowing where Carol was, without looking for her or… literally, die trying. And he wasn't going to die. And he wouldn't regret anything, ever. Not anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Another chapter for this short story. I hope you like it, and thanks for the previous reviews :)

Hugs!

S.-

* * *

2.-

"What's the plan for today?" Beth softly asked Darl when she got up. Daryl was laying under the window and judging by the bags under his eyes he hadn't slept the night before. She handed him one of the cereal bars she'd managed to grab before leaving the prison, as she watched through the window the sun starting to come up.

Daryl stood up, picking his crossbow from the floor along with him.

"we goin' out there, try ta find ourselves a car. Should hit tha Big Spot then, see if anyone's been there, they migh' have left a note or somethin'."

"You think they might have made it?" Beth asked, her eyes full of hope.

"Hell I dunno, tha' was tha plan if shit ever hit tha fan... if Glenn's still out there, he knows how ta get there… Worth a shot, we need a car either way", Daryl told her, packing the few supplies left on a bag he'd found in the cabin.

"Who do you think made it Daryl?" Beth asked him, slowly lifting her eyes to reach his as if she was scared of what he'd answer.

"Got no way of knowin' Beth. Ya said tha bus left, ya said Maggie went to get Glenn, maybe they made it ta the bus 'fore it took off. Bob, Sasha, Tyresse, they were next ta me til' I lost 'em, if they made it they're probably togetha.. Rick... he's either wit' Carl or dead and viceversa."

"I.. I went to get the kids, they weren't inside the prison anymore. Ju-Judith was with them…", she said, her voice trembling and cracking in a sob. "do you think Michonne made it?"

"Hell, wit' er, you jus' never know.. we better get goin' Beth, there's no damn point of thinkin' bout tha others, there's no way of knowin' and we gotta move.", Daryl told her, heading to the door to get out the little cabin.

"Carol may still be out there", Beth murmured, which made Daryl stop and turn around to glance at her. "I understand how she might be feeling now".

He didn't know what Beth had been told about Carol's fate, but he knew she didn't know the truth. Rick had told him he didn't want the rest of the group knowing, not until they told Tyresse, and Beth was really close to Carol and would have probably questioned Rick's decision too. He figured he must have told her she just got lost on that run, or some horrible lie like that.

"She might", he said sharply, eyeing Beth. "But we don' know tha' either. Let's go."

* * *

It was a particularly hot day in the humid woods of Georgia and walkers were less than usual. _Probably hitting the prison_, Daryl thought, all kind of images of his friends and family being chewed by them criatures making his stomach sick. He'd told Beth move, don't think, but it was really easy said than done.

A walker came to them and he stuck his knife on his brain. The thing stumbled before falling straight to the ground and he kicked it with all his strength then, hoping it'd relieve the angst he was feeling inside. He watched Beth take down another female walker with the same rage he'd found himself doing it. He'd long ago discovered the things were somewhat punching bags and it had a soothing effect, taking out the anger through them.

"He may still be out there. The Governor…" Beth said in a low voice as they kept walking.

"Maybe, my guess is he ain't though. Son 'f a bitch's probably dead", Daryl told her, wishing, for a second, they just ran into him and he could stuck an arrow in his throat. Make it slow, painfull, until the bastard begged he killed him. He'd have liked to do that, for Merle, for Hershel.

His tracking and outdoors skills told him the road was on the west, so they headed on that direction. They were moving slow because he was looking for tracks or any sign of other people having walked that path, but there were non yet. They kept moving for about half an hour, Beth following him in some sort of automatic mode behind, and he started to think they should probably find some water. The heat was unbearable and they had only one bottle left. _Too many god damn things ta find_, he thought, and it got him frustrated.

And it was then when he saw them: a clear track of feet on the ground. He followed them slowly, and noticed how another pair joined them a few yards ahead. He turned around, bringing a finger to his mouth, motioning for Beth to keep quiet, and the girl opened her eyes wide and approached him.

"Listen Beth. Somethin' happens, we split or whateva, ya jus' run straight back ta the cabin. Sun on yer righ' shoulder. Ya wait fer me there, I'm gonna go get ya", he murmured near her ear. "ya hear me?"

The girl looked at him with a scared expression. "Why Daryl? What's wrong?" she hissed in the same low voice he'd used.

"Ain't nothin' wrong. Jus'.. someone's been walkin' around 'ere not so long ago, mus' be one of us, mus' be someone else. Ya stay behind me… somethin' happens, ya do as I said", he told her in the lower of tunes.

And he heard it then, the clear sound of voices. He moved his hand behind him, gesturing for Beth to stop, and he hid in some bushes and fixed his eyes in the direction the voices were coming. His eyes spotted a clear field and then another line of bushes on the other side, which blocked the sight to where the voices were coming. _Probably a camp behind them bushes_, he thought. Beth was bented down next to him, her widened eyes and her turned down lips indicating him she'd probably heard the voices too. He ran through the field then, gesturing for Beth to follow her, and bented down on the other line of bushes, checking for Beth behind him. He worried suddenly about the girl being too frightened to act, since she was instinctively gripping the hem of his sleeveless shirt, and he could feel her hand tremble.

"hand on yer gun Beth. Looks like a camp. Ya hide yerself 'ere, we…" he stopped speaking when he spotted five guys walking in line, maching guns on their hands. Yes, they definitely didn't look soft. Two trucks and a car in the distance indicated him there were probably more of them. _Two trucks and a car_, _even more than what we need_, Daryl thought as he tried to come up with the best thing to do.

Beth was breathing heavily next to him, her hand on the waistband of her jeans were her gun was, her jaw clenched and her lips flatenned as if she was trying to control her fear. She turned to face Daryl:

"there are too many Daryl. We should leave", she hissed, staring at him with determination.

"gotta find out if any of our own are there", he whispered. "bring yer gun out, don' shoot unless ya have ta. They can't see us 'ere if we stay put", he added, his hand reaching for his own gun.

"C'mon sweety, one step forward!", a harsh voice said and Daryl froze. Whoever they were talking to, it was definitely a woman. He leaned further to get a better vision.

"Good girl, good girl. Go get her knife Mike"", the same voice commanded.

"Got the feeling we won't be playing it fair if we take the knife from her", another voice said, and a wave of sarcastic laughs filled the air. Daryl started to feel his heart beatings rise, rage running through his veins. They've ran into a bunch of son of a bitches, that was for sure, and now he could count 8 of those guys standing in there, all of them looking in the same direction. He blinked several times when he saw a woman slowly walk forwards, a woman that for some reason looked familiar to him, although he couldn't figure out why. Maybe because she looked somewhat like Maggie, at least from the distance. The woman had her hands raising on the air, her clothes covered in blood, and he couldn't catch her face, but he thought he could hear her sobbing. No. She wasn't one of them, and even though he hated having to do it, they should just probably leave.

Daryl sucked on his teeth, and shook Beth's arm.

"I wanna kill these bastards but we ain't stand a chance. Better get tha fuck outta 'ere, we don' know 'er", he said, starting to turn around.

Beth just nodded and mirrored him, but then they heard a noise so they both stood very still.

"What about you, short hair? Gonna put that gun down or ya feel like giving it a try sweetheart?"

He felt his heart stop, his vision blur at the same time Beth digged her nails on his wrist, causing him to growl in pain. He shook his head, this was no time to fucking fainting on the ground, and he didn't even know if…. But it might. It sure as hell might.

And his vision threatened to blur again when he heard it, as clear as the water. And it even echoed, becoming the only thing he could hear, over and over.

"You do what you have to do. I'm not putting my gun down", the voice stated calmly.

He recognized it inmediately, even from the distance. He started to breath heavily, his hands instinctively going to his chest to try to calm his body down. He eyed Beth, who'd definitely recognized it too. They'd found Carol, and if they didn't figure out something to do quickly, they might just lose her again and for good.


	3. Chapter 3

Here's a little of what Carol's been doing... hope you enjoy it :)

S.-

* * *

She'd missed him like it had been months, years, a life time, and it'd only been 3 days. She thought sometimes she missed him in advance, she missed him for every time she knew she'd want him around and he just wouldn't be there, ever. She missed the whole group really, her family… she thought about the sickness, Glenn, attemped to pray for him and the others even a few times before she remembered whoever was up there had stopped listening a long time ago. She knew she shouldn't, she knew she was on her own now and she had to move on, find a new place, probably new people to survive with, to live for, but when the future looked as uncertain as hers looked, all you could do was hold to the good times, hope you found enough strenght there to keep going, enough reasons.

She couldn't help but wonder, although she knew it didn't lead anywhere. She wondered what'd Rick told them, how they'd reacted, what they thought of her now. She wondered if he'd thought about going out there and looking for her or if he'd just been as angry and dissapointed as Rick was. She wondered if they all considered her a threat now or if they'd questioned Rick's decision, if she was ever going to forgive Rick for making her lose so much, again, without thinking twice, without asking her exactly why, without, after all this time, knowing her better. Hell, she even wondered if Rick had been honest about what happened. How much it changed what she'd done, anyway, the fact that they'd begged her to kill them, the fact that they were pretty much dead already, without standing not one slightest chance and with the risk of infecting others? Who wouldn't have done the same thing? It didn't matter anymore, and it sure hadn't matter back then when Rick had thrown her away. She wouldn't use it in her defense, that's what she'd thought back then, even although she knew if she'd just said it it could have changed Rick's mind, and that it was the truth after all, it still didn't change what she did and it didn't change that Rick had dared to banish her without caring to ask her much about her reasons.

But she was different now. She'd changed, or maybe this new world had allowed things that'd always been inside her finally emerge. Either way, she wasn't that weak, frightened woman anymore, and she'd try to survive, because Sophia would want her to survive, and she knew he would, too. "Stay safe", was what he'd always tell her whenever they had to get apart for some time, and she smiled at the memory of the last conversation they'd shared, right before he went on a run to get the medical supplies. Right after she had to put Karen and David down.

_He'd been getting the car ready, fueling it up, chewing his thumb as he tried to decipher Hershel's scrawling writing of the meds he was suppossed to get._

"Sup?" he'd said without turning around, in a voice tune he used specifically for her, although he probably wasn't aware of it. And she was always amazed at how he could actually know who was there just by hearing their footsteps.

"Just thought I'd say goodbye, wish you good luck. Sounds like a difficult one, this run.", she'd told him as she walked towards him, watching him slowly spin around to face her and lean against the car.

He'd nodded, eyes quickly fixing on her before focusing on the ground. "'s gonna be alrite. I got this", he'd said, and she knew it was true. He'd lately started to get the recognition he deserved, and she knew he wasn't comfortable with it but she was glad people finally saw him for what he was, just like she'd seen him a while ago. 'I liked him first', she used to think sometimes whenever a wave of jealousy hit her, and then she'd laugh to herself because she knew she was special to him, she knew she wasn't like the rest for him. This new world had also teached her she could be cared and loved althought Daryl Dixon had a particular way of showing it.

She'd teasingly smiled to him then:  
"just be back soon Pookie."

He'd snorted, bented his head down and then up to look at her, a half smile on his face.

"Stop." He'd said, playfully pushing her shoulder. "Someone might hear ya callin' me tha' and then I'd rather be fuckin' dead."

Her face had turned straight serious then:

"Daryl, before you go, there's something I need to tell you"

He'd narrowed his eyes, nodding slightly to motion for her to spit it out, but they hadn't had the time, because Bob'd walked towards them, announcing Tyresse was joining them on the run.  
  
They hadn't had the time.

….

And now the car had ran out of fuel and she was hiding it in some bushes, hoping she'd get some soon. She could also use some more supplies and a warmer coat for the chilly nights. Problem was, she'd almost bumped into a huge herd half an hour ago, and her poor sense of orientation told her it was coming from the east so she thought she should head west, which was in the direction of the prison, a place she'd promised herself she wouldn't go back to. She figured, though, it couldn't be less than 10 miles away; that was enough distance. But it was night now, and she had no other options than sleeping inside the car and hoping she'd find fuel as soon as the next day to finally get out of there. She'd thought about going to the prison, looking for Daryl, telling him what'd happened, telling him how sorry she was for having to leave him. But her pride was bigger, and she'd decided she couldn't go back to a place she'd been banished from. She could only just hope… some day, some time, she'd ran into him. She'd stay alive for that. After all, you just never knew.

It had just begun to get light when she decided it was time to move. She grabbed a cereal bar and ate it in a desultory fashion before stepping outside the car, knife on her hand, gun safely held in the waistband of her dirty cargos. She walked a few minutes, gladly noticing there were no walkers around. She thought then there hadn't been any walkers threatening from outside the car the night before either and that was kind of strange. She shrugged, figuring whatever the reason was, it was good news. She started to hum some song Beth used to sing when they cooked together. Despite all, the zombie outbreak, having been banished from her home, it was a nice, calm, sunny day in the woods of Georgia, it was another day she was alive and just the thought of being somewhat near Daryl was soothing in a weird way.

And then there was a noise. A clear noise. She stopped and tilted her head to listen better: it came from her left and it sounded like someone making their way through the bushes. She thought it could be a Walker, but the steps didn't sound erratic and she wasn't hearing their typical growl. A chill ran through her veins as she prepared herself to face the biggest threat of being out there on her own: running into other people. She slowly pulled her gun out of her cargos, gripping it firmly on her hand as she stood very still, holding the knife on the other. Suddenly she let a noisy breath come out, and she cursed in silence when she realized the footsteps had stopped, as if whoever was in there had noticed her presence as well.

She found herself suddenly speaking out loud:

"I know there's someone there. Show yourself", she said in a tough voice she had never heard coming from her before.

There was a consistent noise of the bushes moving and then more steps, so she slowly raised her gun up, swallowing hard and aiming to point it straight to whoever came out.

A woman emerged from the woods then, her face and clothes dirty and full of blood, blood that didn't look like walker blood, Carol thought. Her eyes were wide open, her face unexpressive and a gun was hanging from her hand, which was trembling big time.

Carol narrowed her eyes, staring at her as if she was the strangest of criatures. But she didn't put her gun down, she just stood there for a minute, looking and pointing at her before she managed to speak:

"Who are you?" she said in the same kind of tough voice.

"Who are you?" the woman lowly replied.

Carol realized then that the question was pretty much pointless. She was someone named something and it wasn't what should matter to her now. What should matter was whether she was a threat or not, but she didn't know what was the question to find that out.

"Are you on your own?" she asked then.

"I am now, yes", she said in the same tune, her eyes lingering on hers as she spoke, and Carol noticed it then, the grief in her blue eyes. Having carried that grief on her own for a long time, she just knew about it, she knew what it looked like.

"Where are you coming from? Your… your clothes, they are full of blood, human blood", Carol said, thinking for a second about putting her gun down but waving the thought off inmediately.

"Just go ahead and kill me. I'd do it myself if I had the guts. Just please, go ahead", the woman said stoically, her arms hanging loosely on her sides.

Carol stepped forward then, slowly putting her arm down, confused about what to do. She stared at her as if that way she could figure her out.

"Did you lose your group?" Carol asked her, suddenly realizing she looked somewhat like Maggie, with the bright eyes, the pale skin and the dark hair, and maybe that was making her soften, or maybe it was the fact that she just looked devastated.

"I'm Lily", she said, leeting a deep breath out. "I lost my daughter, my sister, my group. I stuck with a man who wasn't who he told me he was. He convinced us on attacking this group of people, take their place, told us they were criminals, turned out they apparently weren't. Just do it already."

Fear began to take over her body and her mouth dropped open, her eyes going wide.

"Wh-which group?" she managed to say.

"They lived in a prison. There's a prison a few miles ahead, I don't know how far. Just.. please.."

Carol froze.


	4. Chapter 4

another chapter of this short story. Hope you like it! we're getting closer to the caryl :)

* * *

She saw her walking forward, but her vision was a blur. She was sitting on her knees, hands on her face. She knew it wasn't the time to break down like this, not before finding out, listening to the whole story. But she feared what she might tell her. She wasn't ready, if there was any way she could have possible been ready for something like this, to hear about people she cared so deeply for having died horribly.

"I'm sorry, were you one of them?", she heard the woman say, and she slowly stood up and regained her composture as much as she could.

"Do you know if someone made it?" she asked slowly, staring at the woman whose frame was becoming nitid in her eyes now.

"I truly don't know that. I was... on the other side, I wasn't even there until I…" she saw her look down, swallow. Then she lifted her eyes back to Carol. "some might be alive. I could tell it was a strong group… but I don't think they'd still be in that prison. It got overran inmediately."

Carol couldn't stop the tears from running down her face.

"I'm sorry. This world, it just isn't human anymore", the woman said.  
She wiped of the tears with the heel of her hand.

"I need you to tell me everything. Everything that happened. Those people, my group, they are good people, the best of people. If there's any kind of humanity left, it was in there. In each of them. If they are out here, I need to find them, whatever you tell me might help."

And the woman who'd said was Lily began speaking. She told her how she met Brian. How he'd seemed like a good man who'd told her he'd keep them alive, Lily, her sister, her daughter. How at some point she'd ended romantically involved with him. She told her about the new camp leaded by a man who apparently knew Brian from somewhere else, how she'd thought it was strange when this man was found dead, Brian taking the leadership of this new group almost right away. And then she explained how he started saying the camp wasn't safe anymore, he started talking about the prison group, how they were all bad people, thieves, muderers. How he'd claimed the prison was their safest option until he convinced everyone they should fight for it. How he'd kidnapped two people from the group, an old man and a black woman, and the rest… the rest of the story got plenty of tears coming from her eyes. Hershel's death, bullets and fire, death and disaster everywhere and how Brian had just put a bullet on her dead's daughter head, his face covered in blood when she'd found him, his gaze lost, evil, like if he'd always been someone else. She finished the story saying she'd found him later, laying on the ground, almost dead, and she'd just ended it, firing a gun for the first time in her life.

Carol was overwhelmed. It all felt like it wasn't happening, like if it wasn't real. But the devastated woman in front of her surely was, and she could see herself in those eyes, she could see the woman she'd once been: broken, lost, devastated, the result of a dead child, of an abusive, violent partner, just like her.

"Brian, his name used to be Philip. Probably he was neither of them though. He used to be "The Governor" of a town, Woodbury, he ended up killing pretty much everyone there himself. He killed two of us, attacked us twice…"

And that was how she briefly explained Lily the truth about the man and the whole situation. A truth the woman probably suspected now that she'd seen bites of him herself.

"I need to go back there. They might be in the prison's surroundings. They have to be somewhere, some of them, at least. They can't be just gone", Carol desperately bursted out.

"I don't think so. It was full of those things when I walked away. I had to run. I don't know why I ran though, why something inside me still cared about living", she said with a big sigh.

"Do you recall seeing kids? A man, around his 40s, with a crossbow on his back? Do you recall seeing him?" Carol dared to ask the question which answer she feared the most.

"I'm sorry. If they stood in front of me right now, I wouldn't recognize them. I just, after Megan, I don't… I hardly remember anything."

Carol nodded slightly. She knew how that felt like. How your eyes and your ears and your mouth would just shut off.

"I can help you look for them though. I have nothing left to do", she added in a trembling voice.

"I've been exactly where you are right now." Carol told her, her eyes soft lingering over the woman's face. "You ran because you had to, you ran because it isn't over, until it is", she added, letting out a breath before starting to walk in what she thought was the way to the prison.

* * *

They walked in silence for minutes, hours, Carol wasn't sure. Both of them probably having little to say and a whole lot to process and she thought it felt so different, being on her own knowing the others might have overcame the sickness and reached some sort of safety state, than knowing they were probably not part of this world anymore, and she found it devastating to deal with that uncertainty. Lizzie, Mika, Judith? Did they stand any chances with an attack like that? Daryl? She couldn't even bear to think about him. All this time she'd survived because she'd turned into a fighter, which had had a lot to do with him, but also because of the slightest of possibilities they would find each other some time. She had no ways of knowing whether that'd happen or not, and she knew it was most likely they didn't, but she'd thought she wouldn't give up as long as the chance existed, and now, the realization of that chance having faded away was simply driving her insane. Rick, Carl? She'd always thought she was never going to be able to forgive him for what he'd done, and suddenly she felt she already had. If he was alive, if he'd managed to keep Carl, Judith alive, if for some reason they ever ran into each other she'd just hug him, thank a non-existent god for their encounter.

The feeling of a hand squeezing the skin of her upper arm brought her away from her thoughts, and she jumped a little and questioningly looked at Lily, whose eyes were wide and was now gripping her arm tightly. Carol looked around the clear field they'd reached. She heard, too, the source of Lily's fear and as she grabbed her arm and jogged towards the closest group of bushes, she saw three men approach. She raised her gun up inmediately, defiantly looking at them and instinctively walking back with each step forward the men did.

"Told you Mike. Too pretty to be biters. Good morning there ladies, nice day to take a walk", one of the men said sarcastically and the others laughed.

Carol swallowed then. This wasn't looking good, she could tell just by those words he'd said and by the way their were circling them as if they'd just found a prey.

"If any of you gets any closer, I'll shoot you. The three of you", Carol said in a harsh voice, pointing the gun straight to the man's head.

One of the other men narrowed his eyes, anger on his face hidden behind a mock, and he raised a gun as well.

"And if you attempt to shoot us we will shoot you, sweetheart. Or worse. _The three of us_. So please, gun down baby."

"Don't call me baby", Carol said, her eyes fixed on him. He growled and attemped to move in her direction but the one they'd called Mike held him back.

"Now, guys, there's no need of this. Ladies, you'll have to follow us though. We've got some questions for you and I can assure you nothing will happen to you. That is, nothing you don't want to", he told them with a smirk and the others laughed again.

Carol glanced at Lily who was behind her, and watched one of the men walk to her, pushing her to walk forward. Lily stiffened but started to walk, giving Carol a look as indicating she should too.

"Good girl, good girl. Go get her knife Mike", the man commanded, and Carol started to breath heavily as she watched 5 more men step from the bushes.

""Got the feeling we won't be playing it fair if we take the knife from her", this Mike person said, but walked towards Lily and roughly took the knife away of her trembling hand.

"Please, we have nothing to give you. No supplies, nothing. Just let us go." Lily murmured, her voice trembling just as much as her body was.

The man walked a few steps back and his gaze traveled all over her body, his tongue stuck between his lips.

"I wouldn't say that sweetie. I'm seeing a lot you could offer to this bunch of lonely men", he said in a voice that didn't match his words, which made it even creepier.

Carol instinctively raised her gun up again, pointing it to this man now. She figured if their options were slim anyway, she'd at least make sure he took down as many as she could, starting with him.

The man chuckled.

"What about you, short hair? Gonna put that gun down or ya feel like giving it a try sweetheart?"

"You do what you have to do. I'm not putting my gun down", she said calmly.

A few seconds went by and then she looked at her own gun in her hand and wondered what the hell had happened because she was positive she hadn't pulled the trigger but a bullet had just hit the man's forehead somehow.


	5. Chapter 5

I hate it that these days before christmas and new years are always so busy and full of things. Here's another chapter of this one for you though.

Thanks for R&R and I hope last days of 2013 treat you right :)

S.-

* * *

There it was life messing again with him. Like in some sort of vicious circle, bringing him Merle back, then sending him away, letting him get to know Carol, get close to her, feel the weirdest things for her and then pushing her away to bring her back now, like this. He couldn't fuck it believe it but there wasn't time to think about it now. Hell, he wasn't even sure he was going to be out of this one safe and sound, but he was certain she would. He'd make sures he would.

"Oh my god, oh my god Darl, what are we going to do?" Beth repeated over and over, almost breathless, as she tightened the grip on her gun.

"We gotta fight 'em off Beth, now. They dunno we're 'ere. I'm gonna go ta the other side. Grab 'er 'fore shit hits tha fan. Ya stay righ' ere, shoot straight to as many of 'em s ya can. Yer gonna know when. Ya gotta be quick Beth, and ya gotta hit tha target. Somethin' happens, ya run back ta tha cabin. Ya hear me?" he asked her, shaking her arm a little.

The girl just nodded frantically and Daryl wondered for a second whether she'd heard him or if she was just in shock. He could only hope for the former though.

"Beth", he added before turning around and heading his way near Carol, "ya can do this" he told her reassuringly. She _had to _do it and he almost repeated it but he didn't want to put more pressure on the girl. With one last look at her, he quickly moved on his knees and reached a hidden enough spot a few miles straight behind her.

The sole minute he stopped to figure the right thing to do felt like a life time for him. Because he knew they had no time, he knew this was about acting without thinking that much but if he didn't think then he could end up doing the wrong thing and that would imply losing her again in a never-ending chain that was leading nowhere, because when you cared that much then you couldn't move that fast, risk it all went wrong. Yeah, maybe, but he'd lost her once without telling her a lot of shit, without telling it to himself actually until it'd been too damn late. Nope. He wouldn't be going through that again. So if he put an arrow on that bastard's chest and Beth inmediately put at least two down, the others would probably be to busy trying to find out who the hell'd done it before they did anything to her and he'd be able to do something about it. Carol was one tough one now too so she'd fight the others left or run or something and he'll catch her then. And maybe, in the heat of the moment he'd just pull her to him and.. _Jesus christ. He was fucked up to be thinking that kind of shit in this situation._

"Ain't scaring me sweetheart. You'll have to try better. It's actually turning me on, seeing you point that gun on my head".

_Bingo, ya disgusting son'f a bitch._

And then it all happened to fast and in slow motion at the same time. Screams and all sorts of noises as the man bented down on his knees, his hand going to his chest as his face curled in a painfull expression. He saw two other men go down. _Way to go Beth_. He saw Carol look at both her sides in confusion but quickly raise her gun again and put one of the standing men behind down, and he ran into the field himself attempting to kill the other two who were running away. Fuck. They might or might not be a problem later, but not now, and he thought the bullet had hit one anyway. _Had she already seen him? Jesus, what the hell was wrong with him? _ And where the hell was number eight of these fuckers? Because he was pretty sure he'd counted eight.

Silence filled the woods again and he lifted his eyes only for his expression to turn in a one of horror: there she was, standing in front of him, her eyes wide, but the man he'd been wondering about just a second ago was right there behind her, holding a knife against her throat.

And he swore to god he saw her smile for a second. It reminded him of Hershel, that brief smile on her face, and it made him feel even more desperate.

"Showtime's over boy. Put that damn thing down or I'm going to kill her".

"Ya drop yer knife now or _I'm_ gonna fuckin' kill ya", he barked, his crossbow set on his arms, which were slightly shaking.

"and I'll kill her first", the man said sharply, the knife going dangerously close to her throat, which had her having to throw her head back.

He started to feel oxygen had dissapeared of the air, his breathing heavy and fast, and he slowly started to put his crossbow down, defeated. He saw the man smirk behind her but then Carol brought her hand to the man's arm in one quick movement and started to force with him giving Daryl enought time to grab his gun and shoot him straight in the head.

Slow motion took over again or maybe he'd just died and this was some sort of after life moment, but she was walking to him, or he was walking to her. Either way they were getting closer. He rubbed his eyes, confused, overwhelmed, but when he felt her body crush against his, her head burrowing on his chest as she wrapped her arms around him his feelings turned to simple relief. Relief and joy and all kinds of weird emotions that had him almost lifting her up from the ground. He held her in an embrace he was pretty certain he'd never shared with anyone before, his arms tangling around her shoulders as his own head sunk on the crook of her neck.

"Daryl"… he heard her say softly, and then he felt another person join them and he looked to the side to see Beth was now holding Carol from behind, her thin arms snaking between his body and hers.

He saw Carol turn around, tears running like a waterfall down her face as she hugged the young girl.

"Oh, Beth, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", he heard her say, and he almost fell jealous at the sudden loss of attention from her as he watched both women hug each other tightly, Beth giving herself up to that simple form of comfort she'd so much needed yet he hadn't been capable of offering her these days.

It hit him pretty quickly though.

"How'd ya know?" he couldn't help but ask, prior to all the other things that needed to be asked and told and maybe done, too.

Both women broke apart, Carol stepping forward a little, still holding Beth's hand.

"I'm… I met someone who's been there while it happened. She told me everything", she muttered with grief, her eyes wandering around the woods past Darl, which made him turn around. "But she's good, she… she didn't know who he was", she added quickly.

"I'm Lily", the woman who was now facing him said. "You don't have to take me in if you don't want to, it's alright."

He looked back at Carol, understanding now why the woman had seemed familiar to him when he'd first seen her. He might have seen her at some point during that battle. He wasn't sure about this but he trusted Carol's judgement about people and if she said it was ok to have her in then she surely had her 'd heard her say something about them having to leave and find a safe place for the night, Beth telling her they had a cabin not so far away from there, but all he found himself able to do was just watch her in awe. And he wasn't one to stand there like an idiot absorbed in his feelings and sensations, specially not when there were so many things they had to do, and yet he couldn't bring himself to do anything else.

She must have sensed it because she walked towards him, stood a few inches from him and brought her hand to cup his cheek. He sighed at the feeling of her soft touch, his eyes shutting down unconsciously.

"Thought I'd never see ya again", words came out of his mouth in a whisper, his face tilted to press further into her hand.

"I knew I would, or that's what I convinced myself to think, and here we are", she said softly. When he opened his eyes he saw hers sparkle, a wide smile on her face.

"Tha' was so close, this time.. I dunno wha' I'd have done if.." he started saying but she brought a finger to his mouth and he instantly stopped, an overwhelming need to kiss her fingers one by one taking him over.

"Nine lives, remember? Probably got 6 or 7 left". She chuckled. "We have to go now, find a safe place, we'll talk once we're settled. There's a lot to say", she told him, pressing both her hands against his chest.

He just nodded, feeling glad she'd became this tough, independent woman because he was still so motionless he felt he was going to have to be dragged to that forgotten cabin.

But she was here now, right there next to him, and there was no way in hell he'd let anything or anyone make it any different. Not even himself. Not anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

I really don't have the time I'd want to to sit and write these days, but I managed to write this one. It just came out this way and I hope you like it and don't find it too unrealistic, lol.

thanks for R&R!

Happy new year!

S.-

* * *

"You think some of them might have made it to the Big Spot?" Carol asked him, trying to keep his pace. It was starting to get dark and Daryl had told them to keep the lanterns off in case those two men who had ran away showed up or something. Carol thought briefly it looked like he had an inner lantern or something, because he didn't hesitate at all in which way to go, and was easily moving through the woods. Of course, it was Daryl she was talking about. He'd probably win an outdoors man of the year award if that kind of prize existed.

She was too glad of having found him, too devastated about what'd happened in the prison, too overwhelmed by the day's events to process it all. This new world though had teached her how to supress thinking and analyzing things when all one had to do was move, all the time, from one place to another, from one painful event to the next one, not looking back, not standing still, just moving ahead, and so she did, even when, one more time, the path was looking dark and creepy.

"some of 'em migh'... hell I dunno, 's worth a shot though. Good thing ya got that car", he turned his head to glance at her. "we're gonna need it either way. Firs' thing we do in tha mornin', gettin' as some fuel… gotta be easier than findin' a whole damn car", he said, his voice low, some squirrels he'd found on the way back hanging from his pocket and banging against his pants as he walked fastly.

It was late in the night by the time they reached the cabin. Pro'bly 10 or 11, Daryl commented when Beth asked what time it might be. He opened the door to let everyone in, giving Lily, the new woman, a harsh glare before stepping to the side and letting her in as well. He sat on the floor, knife on his hand and started to debone the squirrels. He saw Beth start to climb the short stairs that led to the little attic, a sleeping bag on her hand, and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Don'. We may need ta run. Jus' get tha bean cans", he barked, his eyes quickly fixing back on the squirrels. Beth's eyes went wide in one of the girl's typical expressions whenever something surprised her, but silently did as he said, leaving two cans next to him.

Carol stared at him as she opened one of the other sleeping bags they had gotten from the car earlier, with the rest of her little belongings, and layed it on the floor. She sensed he knew she was staring at her but he didn't even flinch, pretending to be absolutely concentrated on those three squirrels. She shook his head. She knew him better. She knew he was probably as overwhelmed by the whole situation as she was herself, but she'd just thought the quarry Daryl, the farm Daryl, the one who'd let anger come instead of any other feelings was long gone. Apparently, she'd been wrong. She spotted Lily sitting against the wall, her arms wrapped around herself, and she smiled at the woman slightly, the same smile she'd given to Beth when Daryl's tone of voice had scared her a bit, a smile that tried to say somehow things were going to be ok. Lily just nodded to her, her eyes still unexpressive and lost.

She walked around the house, arranging the few things that could be arranged, getting two plastic cups and a pot from her bagpack she thought they might need for their scarce dinner. She placed them next to Daryl and kneeled down in front of him.

"Let me do the cooking Daryl. You go get some rest until it's ready", she told him softly, lightly touching his arm.

He lifted his head up and eyed her, his eyes flicking quickly over her hand on his arm, but then he shrugged, which made her drop her hand aside.

"I got this", he said, his knife going back to peeling the squirrell's skin.

"Seriously, Daryl… you can use some rest. Plus I kinda miss cooking for you guys", she said with a chuckle, using another knife to open one of the bean cans.

"I said I got this", he said sharply, grabbing her wrist and taking the knife away from her hand.

She stared at him skeptically, her mouth dropping open, and angrily stood up, her hands going to her hips.

"Jesus Daryl, what the hell is wrong with you huh? You think you can act like a jerk just cause you've been through some shit, the same shit we've all been? I can't believe you", she spatted.

"Wha' tha fuck ya talkin' bout? I said I fuckin' got this, go find yerself another god damn thing ta do", he spatted back, shoving one of the squirrels, which slided over the floor to end up next to Beth's feet.  
Carol kneeled down again and used one of her fingers to lift his chin up so that he looked at her.

"I'm not letting you do this Daryl. Not this time", she stated, before standing up and heading to sit next to Lily.

Beth looked at her and she just stared back at the girl and sighed in frustration.

"A man around his forties, crossbow on his back", she heard Lily whisper the words Carol had asked her herself when they met. Carol let out a sarcastic chuckle and nodded.

They ate the little amount of food in silence, words only spoken whenever someone asked for the water bottle. Despite being so little, Carol found herself moaning at the taste of the meat, something she'd been lacking of lately, and she smiled at the sight of Beth's hands all over her belly, clearly having enjoyed the meal as much as she had. She saw Daryl stand up then, grabbing his crossbow along from the floor, and he walked to the front door but turned around before leaving.

"Get some sleep, stay inside. Tomorrow's gonna be long. I'm gonna take watch all nigh'. You…", he said, nodding in Lily's direction. "any suspicious move, I'll put an arrow on yer head, and dontcha think fer a second I won'"

"Daryl!" Carol warned him, but before she could say anything else she saw him open the door and leave, lighting a cigarrete on his way out.

Carol turned to look at Beth, bringing her hand to her cheek.

"I don't know what got him, Carol. He's been alright these days… I mean, hurt, like we all are, but he wasn't this angry", the girl said, worry all over her face.

"You know how he doesn't know how to handle things sometimes sweetheart, emotional things. You're gonna be ok? I need to talk to him, tell him to calm down. Please, get some sleep. We have a lot to talk about too, I promise we will", she told her reassuringly, and Beth just held her hand and nodded.

"Go ahead, I'm going to be alright… I'm glad he found you though. I'm glad we did", the girl said, puling her for a short hug.

"And Lily…", Carol said, turning her head in the woman's direction. "I trust you, and he will, too. Get some rest you too", she added and then she stood up and headed outside.

…

The air was chilly but not so cold and actually quite refreshing. She threw her head back to inhale the woods scent and walked in the direction she'd spotted him, just a few steps away from the house. As always, he already knew she was there without having to turn around.

"Tha hell ya doin' ere? Thought I said ya'll stay tha fuck inside", he barked in the same harsh tone he'd used all night.

"And since when exactly do I have to follow your orders?", she asked him, standing right behind him.

He let out an annoyed sigh. "Jus' go inside Carol, will ya?" he said, his back still turned on her.

"How can you be so angry, Daryl? We've found each other... as unlikely as that was. What is it that got you like this? Angry, above all things. Because I can understand every other feeling right now, hell I feel them all right now, just not that one. Not now, not at us, at least", she whisperered, walking a few steps forward.

He saw her bring his hands to his hips, a chuckle coming from his lips.

"How could ya not tell me? huh?! Why didn' you jus.." He turned around to face her for a few seconds and stepped back, his hands scratching his head frantically. "how could ya not tell _me_, then go tell Rick, let him jus' banish ya.. I came back and ya was GONE! then a fuckin' tank shows up, wha' tha hell is wrong wit' ya?!"

Carol watched him in desbelief, swallowing hard. Of all the countless reasons she imagined he could be angry for, never in her life would she have mentioned that one. She started to walk to him but he raised his hand up, gesturing for her to stop.

"Daryl… I tried to tell you, just before you left to get the meds, remember? I said I wanted to tell you something. Then I thought maybe it'd turned out for the better, with everything going on… half of the prison dead, what would have changed? Can you tell me what would have changed?"

He walked to her, her finger raised up, pointing straight to her face.

"Ya let him banish ya, ya didn' even tell 'im they begged ya ta do it, ya let 'im throw ya away… away from… jesus, ya didn' even figh' im ta stay wit' us did ya? ya jus' fuckin' accepted it an' left us unable ta do anythin' ta reach ya, above all things Carol… above all fuckin' things, I jus' can't fuckin' stand it, can't fuckin' stand sittin' there with nothin' ta do over somethin'", he spit the words angrily over her face.

His words provoked millions of different things on her. The less important one, the atonishment at the fact that he knew exactly what'd happened, why she'd killed them without even asking, he just knew her that much. But she wasn't the same Carol she used to be. She wouldn't make his words about her, because, really, she realized as she stared in his eyes, which were dark and narrowed in anger, this words were about him, about how much it'd hurt him her being pushed away from him. He hadn't dared to let it all out, not with everything that happened in the prison right afterwards, and she didn't know what had Rick told him and how had he reacted but she suspected he hadn't let it out, not even then either.

"So what's the point, Daryl? What's the point of standing here, reproaching things that just happened that way? Yes, it could have been different, turns out it just wasn't. And we could have never found each other, but we have. That's what matters to me now. So just drop it, Daryl", she said, dropping her arms to her sides.

"Jus' drop it?!" he asked, incredulously. "Ya say ya ain't no longer no one's damn punchin' bag, yet ya let Rick fuckin' banish ya without doin' _nothin'_? ya give me no explanation jus' to let me find ya gone when I get back?! And ya ask me ta _fuckin' drop it_? FUCK YOU CAROL!"

Carol felt the rage starting to flow on her veins as she walked forward, grabbing him by the neck of his jacket. The action surprised him and his face expression changed, her face inches away from his as she spoke:

"DON'T YOU DARE saying that to me, you asshole! I'm not allowing it anymore. All this time I thought you knew me better than anyone and you throw those words at me?! WELL FUCK YOU DARYL! I wish you were man enough to say what really bothers you about all this!", she barked on her face, turning around and heading back to the house.

She was almost by the front door when she felt his hand wrap harshly around her wrist, turning her around. She stiffened. He was so close she unconsciously leaned against the door to distance herself.

"Dontcha turn yer back on me when I'm speakin'", he said, his voice low, and even though it was dark she could see her eyes flicking all over her face, his gaze a cold, intense blue.

"Fuck you, Daryl! Let me go", she muttered sharply, her hands going to his chest to push him away. But her eyes went wide open when she felt him press his lower body against her own, his hands going to the sides of her face on the door. She saw him lick his lower lip and she opened her mouth in confusion, letting a breath out instead of any words.

"Yer hand's on tha handle. Jus' swirl it and ya'll be gone", he whispered, his face so close he was almost nuzzling hers.

Carol frowned, her heart starting to beat faster, and she couldn't quite believe what was going on but she felt herself extremely turned on in just a second by the whole situation, this Daryl, the Daryl standing in front of her, every inch of his lower body pressed against her, _wanting her _to feel how he was feeling by this too, one she didn't recognize, one she'd fantasied about, sure, definitely, but she'd dropped those fantasies as soon as she realized they wouldn't become real.

"What..?" she started to ask, but then his head went down to her neck and she found her own arms wrapping around his lower back, pulling him closer as he licked the way up her chin, his breathing already heavy and labored.

"_oh, fuck"¸ _he whispered on her mouth before bringing his hand to her chin and crushing his lips against hers, fiercely, his tongue inmediately intruding her mouth. She moaned and tangled her hands in his hair, kissing him back with the same intensity, her tongue massaging his, back and forth, and then she felt his arms grab her by her hips, lifting her up from the floor, and she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing herself against him as much as she could.

She grabbed one of his hands and led it to her breast as they devoured each other's mouths, and he growled loudly but then stood very still when he heard footsteps inside the house. She pulled her head back to look at him and he inmediately put her down, moving a few steps back, his face flushed, his breathing still very heavy.

"Best head inside.. 'fore, huh.. they get tha wron' idea. I'm jus'… gonna stay on watch", he muttered, scratching the nape of his neck.

Carol just nodded, unable to come with a single thing to say, and gave him one last look, a small smile on her face, before opening the door and walking inside to find a scared looking Beth standing next to the stairs.


	7. Chapter 7

well I'm back to the FF writing and reading for a couple of weeks. I had this half written and finished it today. it's pretty much a filler but I hope you like it.

Thank you for reading and reviewing and I hope you have a great 2014! maybe caryl finally happens this year. Hope so.

Hugs!

S.-

* * *

7.

It looked like she had actually fallen asleep at some point. It surprised her because she'd spent hours shifting inside the sleeping bag, probably interfering with poor Beth's sleep who was peacefully doing it right now. It wasn't about being unable to sleep. That wouldn't be no news in this new world. The days she'd been on her own, whenever she'd managed to do it or it just happened out of exhaustion, it had always been with one eye opened, always on guard. This time, though, at least it wasn't just the hurt and pain that kept her from sleeping, the images of the people she loved in the prison, far away from her, the sensation of having been left alone, unwanted. It wasn't about how to survive either. This time it was something completely different: the thoughts of Daryl's body against hers, his rough, insistent lips on hers, how angry he'd been and how somehow that had led to them making out fiercely and pretty much dry humping against the front door. If they hadn't heard those noises… she was absolutely sure they'd have ended going for it right there. What would have happened afterwards? Jesus, what was going to happen now? It was Daryl she was talking about, and that made it just plain unpredictable. She knew hadn't been premeditated, him shoving her against the door and kissing her, and even though she'd realized apparently he wanted her too, maybe as much as she did, she still couldn't figure out if it hadn't been a simple way for him to let the rage and all the other feelings out. And all the damn night, just by playing the scene on her head over and over again she'd felt absolutely turned on, to the point of thinking about just going outside and acting the way he'd acted earlier.

Daryl had been on her mind every since she started to drive that car which distanced herself from the whole group. It had been kind of like flashbacks, going through their relationship in her head, and how it'd grown all this time from that time in the quarry, when they barely talked to each other, yet she'd already noticed him, of course, because it was hard not to despite his efforts to go unperceived. Back then, almost for everybody, he'd been like a less worse version of Merle, both of them very skilled but troubled, worth keeping in the group because of the former but always with an eye on them. The first thing she'd noticed, was something she stilled marveled at, three years later: how attractive he was, and it'd became some sort of game, just watching him whenever Ed wasn't around. And once the quarry got overrun, the day Ed died, and what seemed like a never ending circle of pain and losses began –the death of Sophia, them leaving the farm, the prison, Lori, and then the Governor and Andrea,Merle, now Hershel and who knew who else- their relationship kept growing and turned into something different, something she didn't understand most of the times yet she enjoyed and needed, something she knew he could perceive as well but it seemed, sometimes, they've made some sort of unspoken agreement to just keep it that way. Not moving back nor forward, as if any movement, anything said or done could break that idilic love bond between the two of them. She just hoped she was wrong. She hoped nothing had broken between them after last night.

And it'd been him who'd woken her up. He'd entered the cabin at dawn, big bags under his eyes, and she'd sat on the floor inmediately, rubbing her eyes with her hands to look at him although he'd just avoided her gaze and started to silently pack everything, making enough noise to wake Lily and Beth up as well.

"Alrite, we gotta move now. Gotta check tha cars those son 'f bitches got, get tha fuel, try ta make it ta the Big Spot by midday", he'd said, carrying the crossbow on his back and starting to head off again.

"How long do we wait in the Big Spot, Daryl? I mean... what if… what if there's just no one there?" Beth murmured, handing a cereal bar to the two women, and throwing one to Daryl, who was standing by the door.

"We'll see, gotta get there first", he said, not turning around to look at Beth, and he stepped outside the cabin.

"What happened last night, Carol?" Beth asked her, reaching her hand out to her.

Carol stared at her for a second, hoping she wasn't blushing as bad as she felt she was.  
"Nothing really, sweety. He'll come around, til' he does… we better just let him be", she said finally, taking her hand and standing up, grabbing her belongings.

"Where have you been, all these days? I mean, what happened?" Beth asked again.

Carol put her hands on her shoulders and smiled slightly at her.

"That we're gonna talk about, too. But we better move now, we've got hurry, there's more chances of finding the others if we do", she said, pulling her for a brief hug and patting Lily on her shoulder on her way out.

"Carol?" the woman called. She was still sitting on the floor, her face turned in an expression Carol couldn't define.

"I'm just, I'm going to stay here", the woman said. "Please, don't you convince me otherwise. Really, it's what I want to do".

Carol sat on her knees in front of her.

"But you said your sister might be around… you said she might still be alive", she told her, shaking the woman's shoulders a litle.

"Or she might not. I just don't want to run anymore. Let me stay here, it's what I want to do. You go ahead, and just, thank you. For giving me a chance".

Beth looked at Carol and then back at the woman and just walked outside. Carol struggled for a few minutes, not really sure about what to do, but just nodded at her and grabbed a few supplies from her bag, putting them on the floor next to her. She squeezed her forearm.

"If you're sure about this, then good luck. And thank you, too. Don't give up. Just… try not to give up", she said, although she knew she probably had, and she brought her hand to Lily's cheek.

* * *

They had gotten enough fuel to drive around 100 miles. It wasn't much, but it'd have to do. It was more than enough though to reach the Big Spot and try to find a safe place to stay for the night if they didn't find anyone there. Daryl'd suggested they took one of the men's cars instead of Carol's, and Beth had gone straight to the back seat, leaving Carol no other option than sitting next to Daryl even though he'd hardly talked to her or looked at her the whole morning. She shifted uncomfortably on her seat and glanced at him every now and then, but whatever she tried to do seemed to be useless. Maybe they could get to talk later that day.

"Beth? The reason I was away these days, was that I was the one who killed them…Karen and David. They were suffering and they just begged me to do it. I don't regret it, I did it for them and I did it for you guys too, to try to keep the infection from spreading. I know it didn't work out and I know not everyone would have agreed with me. Rick decided to banish me, said I couldn't be there anymore. Maybe it doesn't matter anymore, but I just thought you should know".

The girl stood in silence for a few minutes and then leaned closer to Carol's seat. Daryl was focused on the road and apparently oblivious to the whole conversation.

"He banished you? That wasn't his call", the girl said simply.

"I know it wasn't, but… I don't know. I guess he thought it was the right thing to do. I love Rick and god I hope he's alive and alright, but I still can't believe what he did. Maybe it was just that, he couldn't believe what I've done either", Carol said thoughtfully. She'd thought so much about this and yet she still couldn't understand why he'd chosen to do that, leaving aside so many things.

"Carol?" Beth called her softly, bringing her hand to Carol's shoulder. "I… I actually thought of it. I thought of putting them down", she said and this time Daryl looked at her in the the rear- view mirror. "I thought it'd stop the infection but then Glenn got sick and others started to fall and I just couldn't. What you did, it was brave. I'm just… well, I'm just not that brave. But I'm glad you are. And you're so honest too, that's just another big part of being brave, daddy always said that", the girl added, sadness in her voice, and Carol saw Daryl briefly turn his head to glance at her.

"Your daddy, he'd have never agreed with what I've done. But he'd have never banished me either. He was an exceptional man, honey. And he was proud of you." Carol said, and then they all went silence, maybe thinking about Hershel. At least she was.

* * *

Carol and Beth were standing by the car, sad and frustrated, while Daryl made the millionth walk around the permiter of the Big Spot. He'd been biting his nails non-stoply, dissapointment written all over his face too.

He walked to them and looked at his sides, bringing his thumb to his mouth once more.

"They ain't even been 'ere. We'll come back in 2 days. Let's jus' go.", he said gruffly and got inside the car. Beth just bursted into tears and crashed in Carol's arms, but soon enough they had no other option other than jump inside the car as well.

* * *

It was starting to get dark when they found a grocery store that wasn't that over run and had a little room and a bathroom with running water inside, so they got in there after clearing it from the few walkers around. It also had a few supplies, not much really but two peach cans and a pack of cigarretes Daryl inmediately grabbed and started smoking. Beth just excused herself and layed on the sleeping bag inside the room, while Daryl headed straight outside, leaving a confused Carol inside the shop. She sighed and followed him.

"You're taking watch again, Daryl? You haven't slept in what, two days? I can handle it, just go get some sleep", she told him, concerned. It actually wasn't an excuse to go ahead and talk to him; she really did think he needed some rest.

"Ain't tired. Jus' go inside. We'll keep lookin' fer 'em firs' thing tomorrow. Meanwhile we jus' gotta move ahead", he muttered, lighting another cigarrete and taking a long drag of it.

"So we're not going to talk about it?" she asked, walking next to him and crossing her arms around her chest.

"Talk 'bout wha'?" he answered, dropping the half smoken cigarrete on the floor and crushing it against his boot, only to light another one a minute later and Carol just frowned, not understanding why he'd done that, and how dared him play like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Oh, come on Daryl. You know what I'm talking about. You need me to say it? Cause I don't mind", she said, suddenly grabbing the pack of cigarretes and lighting one herself. Daryl just watched her, frowning as well, but he didn't say anything.

"We're going to talk about what happened last night? we almost ended up having sex, in case you don't remember", she said firmly, although she blushed big time and the smoke made her cough.

"Ain't got nothin' ta say 'bout tha'", he said, shrugging. "Heat 'f tha moment. It happens", he added.

Her mouth dropped open and she started to say something the same time she let the smoke out, which made her cough again.

"See?" he said, suddenly, pointing to the cigarrete in her hand. "Ya don' smoke, ya pretend ya know how, but ya jus' don' and ya end up coughin'. So don' ask me ta be somethin' I jus' ain't, cuz that's wha' tha hell happens".

"I'm not asking you anything Daryl. All I'm saying is I was just hoping we could talk about what happened, that's what I'm saying. Because we're friends and I intend to keep it that way Daryl… then again, I liked what happened last night, I won't lie to you, and I don't believe you when you say it was just the heat of the moment. But that's alright, as long as you don't push me away… not again, not after having found each other… that's all really", she said tentatively, waiting for him to answer, but when he didn't she just sighed and headed inside.

"Wait", he said, without turning around.

She stopped on her tracks but gave her back to him, standing in silence until she heard his voice. It came in a low, hesitant whisper.

"Ya said ya liked it?"

"Yes, Daryl, that's what I said… I did, i did like it", she responded, and she stood there for a few more seconds, but when he didn't say anything else she just got inside their refuge.


	8. Chapter 8

I can't sleep but at least I wrote a new chapter for this. I hope you like it and you don't find it a little OC or something. Just let me know what you think! Oh, and it's a little smutty in case that isn't your thing.

* * *

Why was he so damn surprised? Jesus, why was he trembling like a god damn scared little boy or something? This was Carol after all: she was honest, she was straight forward, and –apparently- not as awkward about these things as he was. Plus, he'd be an hypocrit if he denied how… strange… things had gotten between them ever since… hell, he couldn't say when exactly, probably since they'd gotten closer when he was looking for Sophia in the farm, but he didn't have those weird thoughts back then… not until that day, the day they found the prison and she'd teased him about screwing around. For some reason from that day on, every now and then he found himself thinking about that, imagining… stuff…, taking some time to check her out whenever she walked past him and even looking forward the teasing that became fbetween them, although she was always the one who started it.

He lighted a cigarrete, hoping it'd sooth his mind, and thought of the day he'd realized he may have lost her, after Rick told him what'd happened exactly, one of the feelings that joined the hurt and the anger was the regret… of what, he didn't know for sure, but it was there, the sensation of not having said things, done things he'd have wanted to, and it hit him hard that day… although he hadn't had the time to process it with everything going on, it hit him hard that he felt things for her, things he wouldn't know how to define, but that didn't mean they weren't still there. And it all came back when he saw her react to his words like that, step up, confront him, tell him to go to hell instead of just staying in silence like that time in the farm. It'd fucking turned him on, too, watching her like that, and when he shoved her against the door he'd felt he had to kiss her, feel her, touch her or he'd die if he didn't. He'd acted without thinking but he'd sensed she'd been into it as much as he was, it'd just ended too abruptly, leaving him wanting more, wanting everything, but not knowing how the hell to react towards her the morning after. Hell, he'd even thought about suggesting they splitted up to get the fuel so he wouldn't have to be close to her but that Lily woman decided to leave them and even if she had stayed it would have been an awful call… and that was another reason to just stop forget about it and avoid her, it stopped him from thinking straight.

But she'd said she'd fucking liked it and his body hadn't seemed happy with just forgetting about her. Hell, he'd attempted to turn around, face her, but he'd felt embarrased of the buldge on his pants and her realization of the things she could do to him. Maybe when they found the others… if they ever did… maybe when they settled in a safe place, as temporary as that might be, maybe when they weren't sleeping on the floor of some fucking creepy shop, next to a devastated Beth who'd lost all her family in two days.

He walked around the permiter of the shop, flashlight in his mouth, sleep starting to win him over. After all, she'd been right about that too: it'd been two days or more without him getting any sleep. He glanced around, looking for walkers or anything suspicious and he then decided if they barricated the shop they'd be safe there without someone having to take watch. He quietly got inside, checked on Beth and Carol who were both asleep inside their respective sleeping bags, on oppossite sides of the floor, and made some noise only to use a big furniture to block the door. He sat on the floor, leaning his back against the cold wall, cursing silently once he closed his eyes and sleep never came, the sound of Carol's soft snores way too damn distracting.

Jesus christ. He sighed and stood up, walking inside the empty room where they were sleeping. He'd told himself he'd shake her a bit so that she shifted and maybe stopped snoring, although she really hadn't been snoring loudly but somehow it was still stopping him from sleeping. She was laying on one side, the sleeping bag covering her whole body but showing the straps of her tank top. He sat on his knees and brought his hand to her shoulder, shaking it lightly. She stopped snoring instantly and he didn't know if she'd waken up, because she wasn't moving at all. He didn't know, either, what was happening to his hand which was now moving up the lenght of her neck, tracing a path with his fingers. He heard her breathing raise up slightly and he saw her move further into her side then, leaving an empty space next to her. He let out a breath and kicked his boots off in one movement before quickly sliding inside the bag.

This could certainly be one more of the many dreams she'd had about them together, but his breathing on her ear was telling her otherwise. She'd woken up right away when she felt his hand on her shoulder, and she'd tested him by moving so he could get inside if he wanted, but she'd never thought he'd encircle her waist with his arm right away, pulling her closer. And now she could feel him hard and grinding against her ass, and he'd replaced his fingers with his mouth, leaving wet kisses all the way up her ear. She didn't know how far they could go with Beth sleeping right there in the same room, but she was finding it hard to stop it, and instead, she found himself pressing even further against him, her breathing coming out in low moans as he slid his hand under her tank top, moving it up until it reached her bra and then down to tease the waistband of her cargos. Oh god. Not in a million years would she have thought shy, awkward, evasive Daryl Dixon was actually a bold, passionate lover like this. He definitely wasn't any good with words, but he seemed to understand this language completely, she thought, as he moved his hand further down under her pants and brushed it lightly against the center of her panties.  
She turned around then, facing him, and even though it was dark she could still see his eyes were wide open and with an intensity she'd never seen before. He wrapped his arms around her lower back and pushed himself against her, and she suddenly had the overwhelming need of taking her pants off to feel him better, but he distracted her by crashing his lips against hers. His tongue intruded inside her mouth, hot and insistent, and he swirled it against her own, making her body shiver as he pulled her face closer, moving his hand to the nape of his neck, and she drowned in the kiss, her own hand digging on the skin of his back.

She came back to her senses a few minutes later and broke the kiss, trying to slow down her heavy, loud breathing.

"Daryl, we can't do this here, not with Beth in the room", she whispered and he groaned, his fingers pushing past her bra and reaching for her breast, brushing over her nipple. She threw her head back but quickly looked back at him.

"I'm serious, Daryl, what if she wakes up? What if she's already awake?" she said in horror, her hand resting on the waistband of his pants.

"we ain't gonna be loud", he finally whispered in a husky voice, covering her hand with his and sliding it under his pants, moving it up and down his lenght. Carol couldn't help but moan, but he quickly caught it with his mouth, kissing her fiercely once more, his tongue tangling with hers as he brought his hand under her panties this time, slightly teasing her with his fingers up and down her slit.

"oh my god", she muttered on his mouth, a little embarrased over how wet she felt she was. He saw him bite his lip to stop some sound from coming, and he added more pressure with his hand, making her eyes shut close instantly. He stopped touching her a few seconds later and lifted her chin with his other hand, making her look at him. He brought his fingers to his mouth then, and licked them one by one, his eyes fixed on hers.

"This how much ya like it?" he whispered, moving his hand down again and under her panties, and her eyes widened and her lips parted as she nodded with her head, not quite believing this was the same Daryl who'd told her he didn't know what she was talking about a few hours before.

"Daryl…" she muttered in the lowest voice she could find, trying to open her eyes but failing everytime his fingers moved experimentally all over her core. Her breathing was becoming erratic and loud and she burried her face on his shoulder when she felt his fingers reach her clit and trace circles all over it, the heat of her core starting to spread down her legs.

"Shhh…", he said quietly, "jus' come fer me", his words sending her close to the edge and he must have noticed it because he increased his speed, sliding one finger inside her as he worked her, and she tangled one hand on his hair, pulling him for a deep kiss to keep from waking Beth up.  
"Oh fuck, yer so tight, I wanna be inside ya", he muttered over his mouth before kissing her again, and this time his words made the pool of heat take over her whole body, her muscles involuntary clenching and her mind going blank in the strongest orgasm she'd ever had. His mouth never left hers, the kisses becoming softer and she had to pull apart for air, shifting so that she was laying on her back inside the bag, her eyes closed until her breathing evened, and he slowly removed his hand.

"it's not fair", she whispered, her eyes still closed. "you didn't get anything".

He snorted, leaning his body over her to watch her closely. "Pff. Believe me, I did."

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he smirked back at her, probably the first one in the last days. She was glad to see that expression on his face.

"I've got to say, you kind of impressed me Daryl Dixon. Wouldn't have thought you'd be such a heated lover… can't wait to take a better look", she said with a smirk, feeling a little light headed, and he chuckled but blushed fiercely, slowly becoming the Daryl she was used to. Well, she could quickly get used to this other side of Daryl she'd just met, she thought. And the thought itself made her chuckle.

"Stop", he said, resting on his back like her. But she shifted and rested her head on his chest and he stiffened at first, but then wrapped his arm around her. "I suck wit' words, alrite? but I care fer ya Carol… an' I... huh, I've wanted ya, fer a while now, hell I dunno, guess I didn' see it 'fore, not 'till ya was almos' taken away from me".

She lifted her eyes to look at him and smiled. "Does that mean we get to screw around?"

He chuckled again, and she realized how much she'd missed teasing him like this, even when she'd never thought it would lead to what'd happened. Not that she was complaining anyway.

"Don' push it, or I'm gonna give a fuck Beth's in tha same room", he whispered, inhaling the scent of her hair that somehow smelled nice. She playfully punched his chest, feeling her eyes close out of exhaustion.

"Daryl!" she said, pretending to be horrified. "Oh god, what if...", she started saying but he interrupted her.

"Ain't heard anythin'. She's been snorin' all tha damn time... I'm gonna wake up 'fore she does anyway."

"How did you know what I was going to say?" she asked in a sleepy voice.

He shrugged. "I always know wha' yer thinkin' bout. Hell I even know tha shit yer thinkin' 'fore ya actually think 'f it. Can't escape from me woman".

"I'm so glad you're back", she whispered, burrying her face on his chest, and she fell asleep, a smile plastered on her face.


End file.
